Laser Focus

Focused is not an adjective I would generally use to describe myself, in fact, I describe myself as having the attention span of a flea. Truthfully, I doubt the flea has any attention at all, so it's likely a poor analogy, but they are so dang small it seems fitting. My friends who are patient enough to listen to my stories, because I always have one, have come to expect that I will likely blurt out an unrelated thought mid-sentence only to circle right back to the topic at hand. Following my train of thought is an acquired task. Picture Dug from the movie Up who was always distracted by a squirrel and you have me, that is until I get something in my mind or something that I desire that I just cannot have.

My inability to get what I want triggers a laser focus in me that should be able to tackle the greatest of tasks; however, this kind of focus usually fails to get me what I want. The desired item, person, trip, or food is all my mind can see while nothing else seems to matter.

For instance, if I have a certain car in mind that I would like to have, I see one just like it on every corner. If longer hair is what I seek, my eyes see nothing except for those lucky girls with luscious locks. My senses are bombarded at every turn with that one thing that I just can't have, the one thing that is just outside of my reach. It's funny how the mind works and is suddenly able to focus. Oh, I can try to convince myself that I don't really need "it" or "it's" really not good for me but this is to no avail. In these moments, I want what I want, whatever the consequences.

So what's a girl to do? I can't go around satisfying my every whim, my every desire, with zero regard for the consequences. I've tried denying that my desires exist but this has proven to be futile as well. My mind reverts to my 2 year old self that refuses to be told No! If you've followed any of my blogs thus far, you know what the answer to my focus problem will be...yep, Jesus!

Just the other day I found myself in a familiar spot, sad, weepy, bored, feeling a lack of purpose. I just couldn't shake it. I had breathed prayer and I had been in the word that morning; I had exhausted all of the things I knew to do to shake this feeling and nothing seemed to work. In desperation, I literally began speaking out the things for which I was grateful. I thanked God for the blessings He has given me even though I am far from worthy. Speaking or praying out the blessings, giving them life, changed my perspective in that moment. I realized it was hard to be sad and to continue longing for things while expressing gratitude.

This seems so simple and it certainly is but sometimes it is hard to pull ourselves out of the pit of loneliness or sadness. Our mind wants only to focus on what is missing, what we don't have, rather than to see everything that is good in our lives. God knew we would have these moments or seasons in our lives.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

-1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

-Philippians 4:6-7

Giving thanks to God, remembering our blessings, promises to give us peace but it's not just any peace. This is a peace that doesn't make sense in our human minds; it goes beyond our capacity to understand it. Nothing about our circumstances may yield itself to peace until we bring God into the equation. Aside from an unexplainable feeling of peace, He tells us that His peace will guard our hearts and our minds. This isn't like the fleeting peace you see on the VW van or a tie dyed shirt. This is the peace that transcends ALL understanding. We no longer have laser focus on what is missing in our lives, the thing that we aren't allowed to have, we can focus on God, His promises, and all that is GOOD!

Peace.