What is it with "sticky"?

So my first post was a devotion I wrote for a submission on another site and it was about sticky notes. This one is about sticky fingers. Everything about me is messy and sticky and that is what I want you to know as you visit this site or read my posts. If you are looking for perfection, you are in the wrong place. If you are a member of the grammar police, you will want to patrol someplace else, because there will be plenty of mistakes found here. If you are looking for authenticity and hard truths, you are in the right spot. An example of how "sticky" I am, I had my Mac for 12 hours and this morning the keys were already sticky. All I could think was that this is so typical for me. I don't like to wait; I like to dive into something even when it would probably be easier to just wait.

I made my breakfast complete with grape jelly. It was so hot I could barely eat it much less savor its taste but there's that waiting thing. I also wanted to see if I could find my newly published website (just minutes earlier) whilst eating my messy, grape jelly ladened breakfast and the result was sticky keys. Had I just waited, my breakfast would have cooled to the point that I could have actually tasted it and I would not have had to take the extra time to clean my new keyboard. It's just not in my DNA to wait. No worries though, God is working on that. More details on that topic later.

It is also not in my DNA to be neat and orderly. The irony is that God has seen to it that I am surrounded by people that are annoyed by this fact from my mother, to my husband, to my co-worker. I know I drive them crazy, from my possessions strewn all over the place to my haphazard way of getting things done, but I do get things done nonetheless. I am incapable of operating any other way. For instance, yesterday I did a grocery pick up, made a trip to another grocery store to get things the other did not have. Arriving home, I started cooking a new recipe and of course I was missing two key ingredients because I didn't look at the details of the recipe. I am a big picture kind of girl and do not see details. I have learned to accept this and have tried not to feel inadequate when others do not appreciate my less than ideal way of operating. This is how God made me. I am unable to focus, produce, create, or perform until it is "go time". It is not time for me to get started until I can feel the tension in the back of my neck. I work incredibly well under pressure and have often told my co-worker, "I will let you know when it is time to stress, but if I am stressed, we need to really be concerned!"

As I ramble on, what is the point of this post? I wanted to give you some idea of what to expect from my blog. It will not be perfect. It's going to be ugly and flawed but also good and gracious. The grace doesn't come from me but from God. He's shown me so much grace and mercy in the last two years. Grace and mercy I don't deserve but which one of us does? This journey will begin soon and it will tell how I almost lost my marriage of 22 years and to be transparent, we are not out of the woods yet, but I can see clearing on the horizon. Explanation as to how just two weeks ago I walked away from a career that I worked hard to get and longed to have but knew the only choice I had was to walk. I was on a dark path for quite some time for many, many reasons. Some of them were of my own doing and some of them were not. In this darkness, there were some bright spots that I will always cherish and there have been lessons that I will never forget but that is only because through it all, even in the ugly, I was still clinging to Jesus and He never left me. I envision He was shaking His head at me saying, "Oh you foolish girl, just do it my way, just wait!" Instead I did things my way. I didn't wait but when I returned to Him ready to do it His way, He was there and ready to show me! Maybe I can save you from going down your own dark path or maybe you are already on one and my story can show you that you are going to be ok! "If you repent to me, I will restore you so that you may serve me..." -Jeremiah 15:19