What Are We Chasing?

You've met Toby in previous posts and he has again proven to be an inspiration to me. Despite the comforts of his new found home (one year ago last October), he refuses to be content. He continues to chase after things not meant for him and finds himself in less than desirable circumstances. His pattern as of late is to not return from his middle of the night bathroom break, which causes him to be left outside for the remainder of the night. He becomes distracted by a midnight creature and obviously forgets the comforts that await him indoors if he would only return in a timely manner. His middle of the night adventures proved to be a little more than he bargained for just the other evening. Toby failed to realize that a storm was brewing and found himself outside, away from home, in the middle of a very strong thunderstorm complete with wind, thunder, lightning, and a torrential downpour. Toby also has a severe case of storm anxiety. We got up in the middle of the storm to try and call him home but to no avail. Again, we called for him in the morning, no Toby. Noon was approaching and we were beginning to wonder if Toby would return at all. I finally got a call from the vet saying he had been found but when I called the person who found him, they had already let him back out. He was a solid two miles away at this point. I got another call from someone else who had found him as he was trying to make his way home. He was a little closer but still more than a mile away. I went to pick him up and it was immediately evident that he had endured a very traumatic evening. He was soaking wet, muddy, covered in burrs but very relieved to be back at home, back where he is cared for, back where his every need is met, back where he doesn't have to want for food, shelter, love, or attention. So why won't he just stay? This is the second time he has wandered over two miles from home. His habit of wandering is also the reason we acquired him in the first place. Straggling up on a stormy night, scared, flea and burr covered, with no collar or tags is how we first met Toby. It seems that he is not a quick study.

This makes me think about me and my relationship with God. When I am walking closely with God, my basic and emotional needs are met. The closer I walk with Him, the less I need the superficial pleasures that this world has to offer. I find myself in a state of contentment but like Toby, I too am sometimes not a quick study. I sometimes find myself distracted by things that are not meant for me; I too have been known to chase things, things not meant for me and I find myself in undesirable circumstances. I also forget the comforts that await me if only I will return to the One who loves me unconditionally, who is there to clean off the "burrs" that I encountered through my wanderings. Just like we went looking for Toby, God comes looking for me when I wander too far from Him.

Another example of this wandering is found in the parable of the Lost Son in the gospel of Luke. A young son asked his father to give him his share of the estate and the father obliged. The son squandered his wealth and found himself in a lowly position of feeding pigs. He longed to eat what he was feeding to them but was given nothing. He was fully aware that all he had to do was return home for his basic needs to be met. He humbled himself and returned to his father not sure how he would be greeted.

"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' "

"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick!Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate."

-Luke 15: 20-24

While living out the christian life, many of us stumble. We wander, we fail, we fall. We may even stray away from God for a time, going our own way, seeking contentment. We, like Toby, can become distracted by the "midnight creatures". But God fights for us. He doesn't let us go; he doesn't count us out. When we return "home", he greets us just as the father of the lost son. This proves his unconditional love for us, the grace and mercy he offers us even though we are certainly not worthy.

I returned "home" quite a while ago. I have just recently felt that I have reached a level of contentment and peace for which I am eternally grateful. I have persistently prayed to be content, to find myself, to find peace. The road has been long and it has been painful but it has also provided growth and self awareness that I would not have had without the struggle. This journey has forced me to look deep inside myself and address the things I did not like. This I have done and am continuing to do. I am proud to say that I am one step closer to being whole!

Here's a little bonus video of Toby being naughty trying to get food from Ali's nightstand.