Not THAT, Lord!

Have you ever found yourself arguing or bargaining with God? I have and often do. This sounds so silly to argue with the one who literally knows everything! What do I think I can really add to this situation with my limited knowledge?

I was recently praying on a fasting day and my goal was to surrender everything to the Lord. I was in a time of prayer, feeling very connected, when He brought something to mind that He wanted me to surrender.

Wait! What!? You want THAT? And the arguing and bargaining ensues! I continued to let the Lord of Lord and King of Kings know that I don't have a problem with THAT. I like THAT! I reminded Him that I am not in sin with THAT! I questioned if He was really sure He wanted me to let go of THAT?! After pleading my case, I reluctantly surrendered THAT which He was asking for with a strong BUT...I asked the Lord for confirmation through Tom, who I knew was also fasting and praying that day.

Fast forward a few hours and I did not get the desired confirmation from Tom, so I figured I must have been wrong; I must have heard the Lord wrong. I picked my THAT right back up, after all, I really enjoy it and it is not a sin!

Or is it? I mean, I am really holding on tight to this thing, not wanting to let it go. Could it be an idol? The next morning I was reading a devotion and of course the subject was about surrendering! Uggh! The text said you know you are completely surrendered to the Lord when you:

1. Submit to the Lord's will no matter what.

2. Stop bargaining with God!

3. Let go of everything in order to receive the Lord.

Well, I am 0/3 on this one! My whole time in my fasting prayer was about surrendering everything to the Lord. He brought one thing to my mind that I wanted to hold on to with a very firm grip! I guess I wasn't as yielded as I thought I was. The Lord sees what my THAT is in my life and He must want something better for me. For whatever reason, He wants me to lay it down, even if just for a season.

A friend so eloquently put it this way...if we love the gift more than the Giver, then we just might have an issue!

This whole scenario makes me think of the story of Abraham and Isaac. (Genesis 22) Abraham was promised a son despite being well along in years. He was given the precious gift of a son only to be asked by the Lord to sacrifice this gift. I am always amazed at Abraham's faith and obedience when asked to surrender his son. Unlike me, he didn't bargain or argue; he was obedient. Not only did Abraham walk in obedience but he walked in faith. He told his servant that he and the boy would return after the sacrifice was made. When Isaac noticed that they had the fire and the wood for the offering but not the lamb, he questioned his father. Abraham replied with great faith, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son." (Genesis 22:8) And the Lord did just that in the form of a ram. (Genesis 22:13)

Listen y'all...I am not being asked to lay down anything that comes close to what Abraham was asked to offer, yet I argued and attempted to bargain with the Lord to let me keep my THAT. How foolish it feels when put in this perspective.

Is there something or someone the Lord is asking you to surrender? It doesn't have to be something dark or seedy for Him to ask you for it? If it is holding a place in your heart or your life that should be filled with Him, He just may ask you to lay it down? He might use it to check your level of devotion or surrender.

I held on to my THAT very tightly for several days! I didn't want to let it go! The tighter you hold on to something reveals how much you really may need to let it go!

I can honestly say, once I made the decision to let my THAT go, once I finally surrendered, I have felt complete freedom! I don't have to think about IT anymore. It is done!

Until next time...

**Stay Tuned--I will be hosting a women's retreat in the coming weeks entitled:

"Beyond the Blog: Burned Bricks".

More information to come!