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Atta Girl...

  • Writer: JustJillCzan
    JustJillCzan
  • Nov 17, 2023
  • 3 min read



Everybody loves a good "atta girl" or "atta boy", right? Some of us desire more of this than others. I suffer from such an affliction but I dare say I am getting better. As I've found my footing over the past year or so, I feel as if this stability has also helped me to find my confidence. I'm talking college girl confidence without the excess partying!


I used to tell Tom, "I was confident until I met you!" Harsh, I know, but somewhat deserving, or so I thought.


Throughout the years I lost my way. I lost sight of who I was, what I was doing, and why the heck I was here? Being a wife and a mother of three didn't feel like enough. I always sought something more, a new job, a new house, a new car, a new friend, etc. I always needed more of something or someone. This is a dangerous place to be because you just may fill it with something or someone you shouldn't!


When you lose your way, you feel like you constantly need people to reassure you... that you are ok, that you are doing a good job, that you are pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, talented enough... What I have found is that it really is never enough! There were not enough "atta girls" to fill the void I was feeling. This I had to figure out because I was EMPTY!


When the "atta girls" would come, that good feeling never lasted, here one minute, gone the next. I need more!


What I recently discovered is that with this stability and confidence, paired with a new found closeness with God, I no longer need as many "atta girls". Don't get me wrong, they are still nice but I no longer live or die by them. That strong desire is no longer there. My mood is not determined by the acceptance of others and this is a great place to be!


A recent example was after The Gathering we held. I would consider it to be a huge success with over 40 women present. Several people provided positive feedback but I found myself in a brief period of disppointment. Disappointed that more of the women didn't reach out with their reaction to the event.


What I KNOW the Lord was teaching me in the "quiet" was to stop relying on the opinion of others. Stop living and dying by what others think, do, or say. It doesn't matter! All that matters is that I was obedient to what He called me to do. I held the event, women came, and I shared my story. Period! The rest is up to Him!


This revelation was so freeing to me! Because I know He is walking me to a place where I can live in His freedom, I sat in that disappointment for only a brief moment.


The following quote really resonated with me during my morning reading, "He (God) loves us too much to leave us where we are and where we've been. He'll help us walk more into our identity in Him." (God's Love at Work, November 12, 2023)


"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." -Genesis 1:27


I guess what my message to you is that we have to find our confidence and identity in someone we can rely on and that is only in HIM! If we trust Him, He will walk us from our former into something new.


He is constant! He does not change. He is love, grace, and mercy and will never disappoint!


"I the Lord do not change." -Malachi 3:6


God searches us and knows us. He knows our hearts, our wants, our desires, our longings. He knows the destination He has for us.


"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." -Psalm 139:23-24


I decided years ago that I couldn't trust others with my heart but that I could trust God. I've since trusted Him with my heart, my desires, my longings and I strive daily to walk alongside Him in obedience. I trust Him to lead me into all He has for me!


Discovering who I am, who I was created to be, and regaining my confidence is something I desperately sought when I began this journey several years ago. I am now one step closer!


Until next time...



 
 
 

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